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Subject:cAtHoLiCiSm ! ! !
Time:02:08 pm
Current Mood:annoyedannoyed
So I am at home! Yes, that means lots of my Daddy's friends! I don't think any of mine are actually going to show up! That sux monkey balls!!!! My little cousin Ikaika shall be my bestest friend for the day! LOL! Some more of my dad's friends just walked in... they are a little crazy!!! Someone, anyone!!! Come by my house!!! Save me please?!!!!?

Went to church today!
[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<jason [...] by...yay>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

So I am at home! Yes, that means lots of my Daddy's friends! I don't think any of mine are actually going to show up! That sux monkey balls!!!! My little cousin Ikaika shall be my bestest friend for the day! LOL! Some more of my dad's friends just walked in... they are a little crazy!!! Someone, anyone!!! Come by my house!!! Save me please?!!!!?

Went to church today! <Jason just called he's going to try ahrd to make it by...yay> I went to Our Lady! I was supposed to go at 8am!!! Did not happen considering I did not go to bed until about 4ish!!! Went to the 12 noon mass. I really love the way the church is on the inside! It's sooo pretty! After mass, I called Jeff and he was still hanging around the church doing their little funraiser thing so I talked to him for a little while. Then headed back home!

The subject of my blog comes in now!!!!

I was inside the church and my mind started to wander, as it often does. It made me realzie just how important my religion is to me... How much religion plays a role in my life. I am proud to be Catholic...and no one can take that away from me... Sure, sometimes I might wish that the Church was not so strict and stuffs, but when it comes down to it, I would not want to be anything but catholic....

Guys that are Catholic definately earn bonus points... It makes it a lot less difficult when I explain things to them of my religion. Or when certain things come across on the catholic calendar... like Ash Wednesday for one!

Ash Wednesday is this Wednesday! I can't believe that... Well I shall be going to church.... I know I'll be going twice too... Once with Stephanie in the morning and another time in the evening with my Sissy...

I am going to vow to start going to church more often! It would definately be good... It's not like I'm going to turn all super Holy, nun like... I just think that it would be good for me to go more often... It's one hour in the morning once a week... hardly a burden on my part!!!!

My dads WaCkO friends really bug me...
-So hows volleyball going?
--it's okay.
-or, you don't play anymore huh? you quit?
--no, i still play! I play 4 times a week and coach 2 times a week.
-oh...hey you're almost graduated from high school huh?
--no i've been graduated for 2 years.
-oh yea, so you still play recreational volleyball?
--i don't play recreational volleyball.
-i thought you said you played?
--i do. competitive... i don't play for fun.
-oh...so ur coaching a city league, right?
--no im coaching a traveling 16's team.

END OF STORY!

In any case... I am so afraid of getting hurt by guys.... Arghhh I am tired of being hurt... I always get hurt... now I am afraid of starting to get close with people... I don't want to start liking someone for fear of I will get hurt... I have to get over this.... No choice!!! Oh well, I shall figure it out!
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Subject:Oo UpDaTeZ oO
Time:01:44 pm
Current Mood:flirtyflirty
So... I have not been here in a while. Me and Brandon broke up... It's not that big of a deal to me anymore only because people have helped me see that I could do a lot better. And also becuase he was so young... young minded i mean...

Daddy is home from the hospital. That is great news!!! I love my Daddy! I love him being home!!!

School is well underway!!! yes yes yes! Stress times 2486786543782657843! You knwo it.

I am taking two volleyball classes as well.. Also Off season athletic conditioning. I plan on trying to play next season! I miss playing... And of course I'm playing at gyms or whatever whenever I have the chance. Not good for my shoulder I know.

Spent about I'd say 12 hours in the past 3 or 4 days talking on the fone with this guy! Wow! I know that's a lot! He's a lot different then I must say I perceived him to be. He's hella cool though for reals... He actually understand a lot about me... including volleyball and that is a major plus... He even understands about my shoulder! Finally someone to understand.......

Anyways just thought I would post a quick update... I'll also post some pictures too pretty quickly.... Like as soon as I'm done with this! ha ha ha!!!
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Subject:Just a quick update...
Time:05:33 pm
Current Mood:productiveproductive
I have a new boyfriend... Brandon... I know I have talked about him before... i used to refer to him as my "Lil brother". He is great... he's so nice.. and Taller then me!!!! Definate plus.

Daddy is in the hospital... He has in infection imn his hip.... Stupid hospital people.. I wish they would just fix it already.... Grrrrrrr! They always manage to skrew things up... So for once can they just make it beeter? I miss my Daddy!

School has started... Loads of classes... Stess times 1973287456352!

Volleyball is well underway! We are doing pretty well... I know it will be a wonderful season... It will be lots of fun too!

Gotta get to class.... I'll update more when I return I suppose!!!
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Subject:wAiTiNg 4 mY cAr!
Time:11:55 am
Current Mood:chipperchipper
So... here I am ta Sarah's house! I am waiting for my car to be done. I had to get new tires.... So, yay I'll be safe for the drive to Sac tonight. I love my Daddy he got me new tires! Yay for Daddy! We are going clubbin... ScOrE!!!

The last time I updated I said I got myslef into saomething thatv would be horrible... Well, it is not!!!! Yet again Alohalani has another boyfriend. And Clich as it may sound but this one is for reals different. He is a lot different.. Brandon that is... I know he is different becuase I reallyt know him.

Just thought I would put that in here before we are off... Bout to go get my car and get ready for tonight!!!! So excited....

Movies tomorrow with Brandon.

Loving life right now. Things are good....

Call me poeples.....

Be back later to give ya all the details on my life as we know it...

Luv ya bunches
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Subject:mY UpCoMiNg LiFe!
Time:06:20 pm
Current Mood:sicksick
Well... Here I am at home. I got off of work early... Okay so I got off of work like an hour after I started. Carlos let me go home arly because I was sick. So, I came home and slept. Yucky! I hate being sick!

So let's see... what to say! My Daddy was home for christmas! That was great! I was so happy he was home! Thankx to everyone for your prayers. he is at home now and recovering well... he's up and walking around!

Christmas went okay!!! Me and my family are not officially celebrating until New Years Eve because we were not sure on my Daddy!!! I did however go up to me moms!!! And yea, thingz over there went okay! Do you know what she got me for christmas? A gym membership! That was so awesome!!! Except one thing! The gym is in Sacramento!!! WTF? And it's not a Gold's or Millenium where I can find one located near me... It's strictly a gym in Sacramento! LOL! Who woulds thunk it!

Working lots and ltos of hours! Maybe that's why I was sick becasue I have been doing nothing but working and working, and running around. Not spending enough time sleeping, resting, and taking care of myself.

Volleyball has started... Should prove to be a good year! I am expecting a very successful season!

Looking for life to pick up once again! Planning on taking 20 units at school, playing volleyball, and coaching as well as working... I'm excited!!! Although when most people hear about my upcoming life they look at me like I am a goof! Jimmy said I'm crazy, Paka told me I better pick two... I say... I'll make it!!! I'll be ultra busy, but that's how I like to be! Go Go Go!

Thinkin about things, I'm wondering if I have gotten myself into something that I know will not be able to get out of... Only this ime I know that I have to keep my mouth absolutely shut about it... This is definately something that I can not talk to anyone about... HmMmMmM!!!!

Well at least once l get verything going I won't have time to think about things!!! I won't have time to do anything but what's on my plate!!! No time to think!!! And right now, I'm thinking that's a good thing!
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Current Music:Over and Over by Nelly and Tim McGraw
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Subject:Life a little better now!
Time:12:12 am
Current Mood:happyhappy
Well... from the last time I updated life has gotten a little better. I am finally out of the things that heldm me back. I am free to be me. Free to laugh and just be what I want. Free from feeling like shit basically.

On another note... I met someone. He is really nice. He's not taller then me, but who really does care right? Just as long as they care about you as a person! He does! And so yes I must say I like this guy!!!!

Lopaka came for thankxgiving! I so missed him! I was oober happy to see him! He'll be home for Christmas too!!!! I love my cousin!!!

My daddy might be in the hospital for Christmas... That would suck!!! I hope not! I don't want my Christmas to suck like my thankxgiving. I would hate that mucho...

I'm typing on my lap top!!!! Got the DSL to work!!!! Yay!!! Mucho excited!

Registering for school soon!!! Kinda excited about that one!!! Yay!!!

I don't work tomorrow!!!! Yay! Christmas shoppin for me tomorrow!!!! And also Kelsey's party... And of course the every friday night ritual!!!! Starbucks!!! LOL! And now Lithia Toyota? WTF?

Been doing a lot with the "racing scene"! Ha! Last weekend that was all I did! Friday, Saturday and Sunday! LOL! Fun! Fun! Fun!

Oh...and you can not tell me you drive a 1981 Nissan wit a v12 engine running 1200hp and pushing NAS, and running 3 amps for your stereo! Where does the v12 fit? 1200 hp? Do you want to get blown up? 3 amps for a stereo? Do you have no windows? LOL!!!! Yea people are funny!!!!

But hey my car is as fast as 5 horses!!!! LOL!!!!

Inside jokes!!! Great!!!

Tired now!!! Nitey nite! Have to get up early!!!!
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Current Music:Over and Over by Nelly and Tim McGraw
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Subject:HuRt......
Time:07:14 am
Current Mood:crushedcrushed
So... here I am at home on a Saturday morning at 7am...AWAKE!!! WTF is that? I'll tell you what it is. It is me not being able to sleep. It is me wanting to do nothing but cry. It is me feeling lied too, me feeling like no one cares... Me feeling like life is just really shitty... To be honeat with you life is really shitty right now.

For starters my dad has this new girlfriend... And she seems really nice.. But not when every single time I see my father I have to see her. It's not even like I see ym father that muhc to begin with... And then people ask, why do you never want to be at home anymore? Well because for one thing I don't want to HAVE to see her every single day of my life... Especially when ia sk my dad to go out and he goes, oh let me call jamie and ask her to go... Do the meanings Daddy/ Daughter time out mean anything to you????

Secondly why does it seem that when I try to tell certain people things they try to put it bakc on me? Like canceling plans, and you try to turn it around to make me look like the bitch? Who cancelled plans? Not me...And then you say you ahte it ewhen people cancel plans, but you do it anyways...

I ask you a question, and you tell me no.. Okay that's fine... But then why is it okay with someone else? Why? Why si it okay for it to be okay with you for someone else but me? Why lie to me? I always find out in the end anyways....

The people who say they will be there... never are!!!! You told me that you wanted to take the place of Desmond...I swore you wouldn't.. You promised that somehow you would... And with time I let you take his place... And when I turn to you because I am desperately in need of someone to talk too, and because I am deperately in need to advice, and consoling you are not there.... But you want me always to be thetre for you? I am sick of always having to be the one there for everyone... not if no one can be there for me...

I hate how you always make me feel like shit... I really do.. I constantly cry over you... And when I do you try to get mad at me... can't you see that I care for you? Honestly I don't have another friend like you right now.. Why? Because the one best friend that i had... well yea you know... It's not even that I am so :"wanting to get back with you" or anything like that.. It's just that as a friend you treat me like shit.. You make me feel like shit. I want to get out of it, but I can't!!! I try, but for some reason i can't let go of you as a friend...

Why is there always a double standard? I mean you want me to be there for you... I am always willing to be here for you... And that is what you want...but what about reciprication?

Tell me, would you like me talking on the phone with someone while we are hanging out? Would you like me just saying hi, as you pick me up from work and then decide to talk on the phone the whole way tog et someone, and when we get to the destination you leave my car for them? All of this while you are seemingly crying and upset?

Why when we hang out if someone calls you and they are upset you will talk to them, but if you are with someone and I call you because I need to talk you tell me let me call you later? Why if you are on the phone with me and someone calls you and they mention they need to talk you say let me call you back... But when i call and I need to talk and you are on the phone with someone I get called back? WHY? Probably because I let you know that everyhting is okay... I won't tell you how i really feel because I don't want you to get mad... FUCK THAT!

I am tired of always doing what people want in the attempts to keep them happy.. To keep them liking me.. Besides if I really have to do that is it worth it? I am tired of sacrificing my happiness for others. I am tired of feeling worthless. And that's how you make me feel sometimes... just flat out worthless...and then is atrt to believe that i am!!!

I am tired of letting you sue me, letting other friends use me, and other family members use me... I am tired of always being there for peiople when they need a favor, or when they all of a sudden need me, or all of a sudden want me... I have a life that I need to live.. I hate letting other hold me back...

I just want to quite life.. Maybe that is the easy way out, but it seems better then living in this life... A lot better!!!
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Current Music:Mark Ho'omalu- E O Mai Kawika
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Subject:cAn i EvEr MaKe yOu hApPy?
Time:03:47 pm
Current Mood:confusedconfused
So.... is it possible to ever really make people happy? By the looks of things right now, it doesn't seem like it.

So heres the deal.... When we were going out you told me that I did not have enough time for you. And I tried to explain why, but it didn't really make any sense to you. So, I tried to make more time for you. When I made more time for you it seemed like you tried to push me away, or cancel out so we couldn't see eachother. Or you would forget about our plans. Then you break up with me. I really don't get it...

And now that we're broken up and things don't even seem like that! Things are pretty much the same. I'm confused... And now we hang out all the time... things seemed hella cool.... But now you ask me why I have time to hang out with you now? Geez! I thought you wanted me to make more time... so I did! now that i did you want to know why! Can I even win?

I really do like you! But how can I make you happy? What do I have to do to show you? What do you expect? What do you want?

I'm confused... Blah!!!!!!!!

Jason...thatnx much for listening to me and talking things over with me....
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Current Music:HyPhY- the federation
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Subject:oOoOpSiEs!
Time:11:39 pm
Current Mood:tiredtired
Well.... I am still alive in this world. I just have not updated here that often! So sorry guys! Johnny turned me into a .myspace.com junkie. But I promise to come back here and update this often! I missed reading everyones lives!

So now, tired as all eff! I don't really know why though. I slept for a long time last night. Maybe my body is just really stressed out, and overly tired! I guess?!?!

So yea, I've been really confused lastely... Me and Jon are not together anymore, but then again it's kinda like we are. I mean we are not official, but everything is the same. I don't get it... But I really do like this guy! i just hope that he would hurry up and make up his mind... Grrrrrr... And I'm kinda scared too!!! i don't wanna get hurt yet again! But i really like him. Who knows what will happen. I'm just going to sit back and enjoy the ride!

Me and Des are not really friends anymore. I don't have the time to get into all the details! But for the most part he decided that he did not need me as a best friend right now,a nd he wan6ted to come back and be friends when he needed me. I don't think it works like that! Sorry! Niki does not play that game! And so yea, we're not exactly the best of friends... and I'm upset about it...I don't know why! Everyone esle just says to forget about him, and I can't... I'm so crazy sometimes.

Daddy goes through surgery again on the 12th... And thats also Ryan's one year! I need that day off. It's my daddy's surgery. I'm worried for him. I always am.

I need tog et my ass back into volleyball.... I'm tired of my shoulder being hurt. I miss playing....

I'm way tired now! Time to go nitey nite for me.
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Subject:Scatter Brained!
Time:12:15 pm
Current Mood:pensivepensive
Okay well today si Tuesday! i work until 10 PM tonight! But I have tomorrow and Thursday off! Yay for me! that's exciting!

Umm yea, last night we had a birthday party thingy for Lexy! my lil sissy is 14 years old! Holy Shiznit! Jon came over... had yummy yummy food! Auntie Shirley made Tonkatsu! MmMmMmMmMmm!

Went to go see Wicker Park with Jon! And kendall and jeanna, and Mark! it was an okay movie! Better then i expected!

Afterwards came home and sat outsdie with jona dn just talked! We got into serious conversation! Umm.... not alwasy a good thing! It made me realzie just how differently we look at life. But hey, everything is okay! And there was no drama caused between us! So yea... not all bad! Although i really did start to get irritated... I enojy life. I think life is fun! Why not enjoy it?

I effing spilt somthing on my shirt! Grrrr! Piss me off! I really wanted to wear this shirt... okay so I did not spill something on me, i leaned on something and it got my shirt all dirty...i've done it like 4 times already this week.... What do i keep leaning on? Ahhhhhhh!

Word of the wise....just for all of you out there... Don't eff someone who is a minor if you are legal in a public place. You do NOT want to get caught!
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Okay well today si Tuesday! i work until 10 PM tonight! But I have tomorrow and Thursday off! Yay for me! that's exciting!

Umm yea, last night we had a birthday party thingy for Lexy! my lil sissy is 14 years old! Holy Shiznit! Jon came over... had yummy yummy food! Auntie Shirley made Tonkatsu! MmMmMmMmMmm!

Went to go see Wicker Park with Jon! And kendall and jeanna, and Mark! it was an okay movie! Better then i expected!

Afterwards came home and sat outsdie with jona dn just talked! We got into serious conversation! Umm.... not alwasy a good thing! It made me realzie just how differently we look at life. But hey, everything is okay! And there was no drama caused between us! So yea... not all bad! Although i really did start to get irritated... I enojy life. I think life is fun! Why not enjoy it?

I effing spilt somthing on my shirt! Grrrr! Piss me off! I really wanted to wear this shirt... okay so I did not spill something on me, i leaned on something and it got my shirt all dirty...i've done it like 4 times already this week.... What do i keep leaning on? Ahhhhhhh!

Word of the wise....just for all of you out there... Don't eff someone who is a minor if you are legal in a public place. You do NOT want to get caught! <i really feel bad for them, but hey they amde the choice themselves right?>

Okay so Imma go right now! Lexy started high school. I feel kinda old!
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